Kate* had always gone to the mountains for inspiration. As a native of Colorado, there was nothing more peaceful to her than taking in the beauty and stillness of the peaks before she took the exhilarating snowboard ride down the mountain. Shortly after her last ski trip, Kate was diagnosed with a heart condition which would require multiple surgeries over the course of several years. The prognosis was not good. Several weeks after her first surgery, she returned to her favorite ski resort to watch the snowboarders and take in the beauty of the mountains. Her surgery had left her weak and thin, and she no longer had the strength to snowboard. As she sat and took in the scenery, she couldn’t help but wonder how her life had changed so dramatically. At age 22, she felt like life as she knew it had come to a screeching halt. She wondered what her new life had in store for her and how she could accept the loss of her old life.
In order to cope with her emotions, Kate had to accept her health condition and the life changes that it brought. Acceptance of difficult events and emotions is often a major part of emotional healing. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is one psychotherapy approach that emphasizes acceptance as a key part of healing. Please follow the link to read more about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.
*Name has been changed to protect the individual’s identity. This individual has never been a patient of Dr. Becker or her colleagues. Story published with permission.
Hi Dr Becker,
Acceptance is such an important tool to gain but yet, most of us do not do this well. When most of us think that we are accepting of bad things in our lives, are we really in full acceptance or are we just "putting up with it?".
Look forward to your next post on Acceptance.
Dr Vin Family Doctor from Australia
Acceptance is not a single event, but is a process that may need to be given more focus at certain points in someone's life. Many people I see in therapy say that they have accepted something, but further exploration often reveals that they have not. When people say they cope by trying to "forget about it," or "get over it," that is often an indication that they have not gone through the grieving process.
True…..
Dr Vin
People always tell me I need to get over it etc. when I am dealing with something. They make it seem like it's just something you do. Sometimes it feels like I have some abnormal problem and I'm the only one who can't let go of some things. I know its not true, but its hard to keep that in mind. The ACT technique sounds interesting.
Paul, I hear the same thing from many of my patients. Friends and family may think they are being helpful by advising people to get over it or just think positive, but often this advice makes people feel worse about themselves. For many people it is a struggle to accept difficulty and let let go of things.